Shame is fundamentally disconnecting. The person feeling shame is often acutely aware of their own perceived flaws and inadequacies, and may misinterpret attempts from others to connect with them. For example, a person feeling shame may interpret another’s warm smile as condescending or ridiculing. Or they may accurately interpret the other person’s caring expression, but … Read more
A few weeks ago, a client of mine expressed frustration that there are no public child abuse memorials. She asked, “Why are there war memorials, AIDS quilts, breast cancer ribbons, but nothing for child abuse?” Her question echoed a statement by Judith Herman in her book Trauma and Recovery from the early 1990s. Herman states, … Read more
One of the processes that allows for the development of self-compassion in highly shame-prone and self-critical people is the ability to take the perspective of a warm and caring other person. Therapists are often able to offer that caring perspective on the client’s experience. We at ACT with Compassion encourage therapists (including ourselves) to intend … Read more
A number of standardized assessments exist that may be useful in working with highly self-critical and shame prone clients. These measures can be used for obtaining initial normative assessments as well as tracking change in therapy over time. Some of these measures may even have predictive utility. For example, the hated-self subscale from the Forms … Read more
We have written up some of our thinking to accompany last week’s Tool of the Month – Exploring the Past – Shame and Self-Criticism. One of the first steps in case conceptualization with shame-prone and self-critical clients is to assess their relational history with shaming/criticizing and compassionate/caring others. As mentioned in our previous blog post, … Read more
ACT with Compassion is turning one year old! ACTwithcompassion.com is one year old and we decided to celebrate by sharing a short guide to the best material for therapists interested in using compassion in their work. Therapist Resources Homeworks Recommended books Recommended books and reading material for clients Audio recordings Case conceptualization Research Updates … Read more
Below is some guidance on case conceptualization using this month’s Tool of the Month – Exploring the Past – Warmth and Compassion. One of the first steps in case conceptualization with shame-prone and self-critical clients is to assess their relational history with shaming/criticizing and compassionate/caring others. As mentioned in our previous blog post, understanding clients’ … Read more
For many of us, there is something uniquely vulnerable in our love for our companion animals. These relationships can teach us about love, pain, values, and compassion in ways that are difficult to get from our relationships with other humans sometimes. Those of you who have been following this blog may remember Jason’s post about … Read more
Last week, The Compassionate Mind Foundation listserv discussed the issue of working compassionately with a client experiencing feelings of betrayal, anger, and shame in her relationship with her parents. This client seemed to be experiencing a pattern typical of survivors of betrayal trauma in which, when she allowed herself to experience any anger toward her parents, the anger … Read more
We have a new paper out in the journal Current Opinion in Psychology about shame, self-criticism, stigma, and compassion in ACT. Five studies show ACT helps with shame and self-stigmaIn this paper, we reviewed the existing research demonstrating that Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help with shame and what is called self-stigma, or buying … Read more